That Time I was Isekaied During A Swimsuit Shoot

I found this picture on the UESP wiki while searching for things to do in skyrim and as skyrim is such a smash hit I thought it would be nice to see some material of the series’ humble beginnings

This is the cover artwork for the Elder Scrolls: Arena game by Bethesda. While it was a fine example of an RPG in its day, compliments cannot be given to the artists idea of how exactly a lady works.

Her torso is swiveled towards us to let us see her medieval breast implants whilst her lower body is in complete profile, bad pose when you are fighting and I’ve yet to speak of her dislocated shoulder… so here I go! Her shoulder, it’s dislocated. Considering that her hand is slightly above her crotch and holding a sword AND her torso swivel towards us, her arm should not be where it is.

She also seems to have forgotten to put on her armour and I’m pretty sure that outfit won’t deflect an arrow or a sword.

Maybe this is one of those “fish out of water” time-travel fantasy stories.

Amanda Daniels threw her head back, her blonde hair shimmering in the sun.  The photographer moved around her, clicking his camera.  God this is boring, she thought.  She couldn’t wait to finish and get back home to the cat, couch and collection of Star Trek: The Next Generation DVDs that awaited her.  But alas, she still had to finish this beach photo shoot.  The life of a swimsuit model could be rough, she sighed.

Suddenly, there was a huge flash of light.  What sounded like a thunderclap accompanied it, the noise sending several of the shoot crew down on their stomachs.

Startled, Amanda reflexively looked at the direction of the light.  What she saw was impossible.  A strange glowing portal appeared to be hovering above the sand.  She stared at it, transfixed.  It seemed… familiar, somehow.

A low, male voice emanated from the swirling vortex that was the portal. “Come Amanda, step into the portal. The time has come.  It is your destiny.”

Amanda blinked.  “D-d-destiny?"  She managed to get out.

"Yes,” the voice boomed. “It is time.  The realm needs you.  You must come.”

As if in a daze, Amanda began to walk towards the portal, ignoring the screams and shouts of the photographers and crew around her.  She had no idea what she was doing, but somehow, she felt compelled to enter the portal.  Somehow, it just felt right.

She took a step, then another, then another.  Behind her, she was vaguely aware that there was movement, somebody, probably the photographer, was running towards her, trying to hold her back.  This is ridiculous, she thought, I should turn back.  But yet, she didn’t, she continued.  Step.  Step.  Step.

And suddenly she was in.

Blinding light engulfed her.

Amanda awoke on her back, the feel of wet grass all around her.  She opened her eyes and sat up.  She was in a lush field.  The sky was dark, and strange birds were flying above.

“Wh- where am I?"  She muttered, not really expecting an answer.

"She’s awake!” A voice cried out.

Amanda turned at that, and saw a robed man looking at her.  He was about average height, and had a bit of a crook in his back.  Strange eyes peaked out from under his hood.  In his hand was a dagger.

Amanda’s eyes widened, and she immediately tried to scramble back.  “Who… who are you?  What do you want?”

Oddly, the strange man seemed just as startled as she.  He dropped the dagger in surprise and took a step back.  “I’m not here to hurt you!"  He held both hands up, palms out.  "I don’t have any other weapons.”

Calming down a bit, Amanda placed a hand behind her, ready to get up and run if necessary.  “Okay."  She said finally.  "Okay.  Let’s start with who you are.”

The strange man arched an eyebrow.  “You don’t remember?"  He asked, sounding genuinely as if he thought she should know.

"Remember what?”

“Ah… never mind."  He shook his head.  "There’s enough time for that later.  The important thing right now is the sword.”

Now Amanda was really confused.  “Sword?  What sword!?  I don’t even know where I am!"  She stood up.  This was too ridiculous. "If you don’t tell me where I am, who you are, and what I’m doing here right now…"  She trailed off, unsure how to finish the threat.  What exactly would she do anyway?  She had no idea where she was, nor where she would go if she chose to leave.  If he even let her leave.

The strange man peered at her under that hood of his.  His odd eyes seeming as if they were peering into her soul.  "Ah.  Of course.  If you don’t remember me, you wouldn’t remember the sword now would you?"  He chuckled lightly and snapped his fingers.

With a flash, and a slight popping sound, a long thin sword suddenly popped into Amanda’s right hand.  She stared at it.  "What?"  She breathed, barely able to believe what had just happened, much less EVERYTHING that had just happened.

The strange, hooded man nodded excitedly.  "Yes, yes."  He said.  "Yes.  Perfect.  You are indeed the one."  He clapped his hands together.  "Excellent.  Excellent!  Yes, it’s all coming together!  Now come, we must off!"  He leaned down, grabbing her free hand, yanking Amanda up on her feet.  The grass tickled her bare toes.

"Off?  Where are we going?”

The strange man smiled at her, a slightly unhinged smile.  “To save the kingdom of course!"  He exclaimed.

A breeze blew through the field and suddenly Amanda was quite aware she was still in the bikini she had been wearing for the photo shoot.  "Wait.  Can’t I at least change?”

Her strange companion shook his head.  “No.  No.  No time.  There’s no time!  That outfit will have to do.  We have a kingdom to save!”

And so it began…