Break Into Comics With Harley Quinn and

Break Into Comics With Harley Quinn and Rachel

Since they are clearly abusing the privilege, I’ve decided to take over Harley Quinn writing and editing duties from DC comics.

Harley Quinn is no stranger to a little breaking and entering for a good time (Remember that time she turned over a whole Babeland store in an afternoon? Oh, how we laughed, and later cried when they found the bodies, but then laughed again at the undeniably hilarious slapstick of the situation.) and now, she’s going to help one talented artist break into comics with ~~DC Entertainment’s~~ Rachel’s Open Talent Search. That’s right, I’m looking for someone to draw one page of HARLEY QUINN #(Look, this is never going to be a real series, but bear with me) alongside some of comic’s most amazing talents, including ~~Amanda Conner, Paul Pope, Bruce Timm, and a few other surprises, maybe even you!!~~ the Internet.

Beginning right now, I will be writing the madcap adventures of Harley Quinn, and I’ll need all the help I can get to handle her, since I have no particular desire to write an ongoing Harley Quinn comic and I can’t draw worth shit. If you think you’ve got what it takes to thumb your nose at a major comics publisher, then put on your working hat and start drawing now, because while no one important will see it, god knows none of us are getting any younger.

Submissions can be pencils; pencils & inks; pencils, inks & colors; photographs; sculpture; coloring-book pages; or interpretive or lyrical dance. Please keep in mind that the level of your work is pretty much irrelevant, so don’t feel the need to ink or color your work if ~~you’re only confident in penciling~~ you don’t feel like it.

Oh, and did I mention that I’ll be reviewing the submissions myself, while sobbing quietly? I’ll probably post them here, too.

Harley Quinn. One page. Published work. Breaking into comics was never this futile. ;)

-Rachel

Here’s how to enter:

1. Find a pencil or some crayons or a burnt stick or something. You know, whatever.

2. Read the following script page and give me your original artistic interpretation of what those four panels should look like on a single page:

PAGE 15

4 panels

PANEL 1
Harley Quinn, naked, in a bathtub, trying to make toast. She’s concentrating fiercely, as if the fate of the world depends on the outcome.

PANEL 2
Harley Quinn, naked, feeding toast to an alligator during a thunderstorm as whales frolic in the distance.

PANEL 3
Harley Quinn naked, in a bathtub, with a toaster. She is the toaster. She is the bathtub, and she is the universe, and she is god. Bow before her, and despair.

PANEL 4
Harley Quinn at a drafting table. She’s drawing Jim Lee, naked, in a bathtub, with a toaster (configuration up to artist’s discretion). Should reflect classic Looney Tunes “Ain’t I a stinker!” ending in both tone and composition.

Hey, Overachievers! For extra credit, also draw these bonus panels!

BONUS PANEL 1
Harley Quinn, trying to give a toaster a bath.

BONUS PANEL 2
Harley Quinn, with a toaster, running the editorial department of DC Comics. Nudity optional but recommended.

BONUS PANEL 3
Harley Quinn burns down the DC universe, flames reflected in her vacant eyes. Naked. With a toaster. Alligators optional but recommended.

BONUS PANELS 4-6
Harley Quinn evolves into her final form, a celestial glowing sphere. “Seeya, puddins,” she says before bursting into a thousand stars.*

*Final panel description courtesy of DC Comics Shadow Government Editor-in-Chief Justin Pierce.

3. Send me your artwork via the submission form here ~~by October 1, 2013~~ whenever you feel like it, but the joke will probably be dead in a few weeks, so you might want to hurry.