From race cars to donuts Former 15 year

From race cars to donuts

Former 15 year old nerd boy

unfortunately I’m causing anger in people’s minds, so the idea I’m trying to express is getting blocked. time to take a different tack.

let’s talk taste buds.

taste buds were evolved because your body needed a way to easily tell which foods were more useful to your survival back when food was a matter of life and death.

let’s consider an extremely crude model, just to illustrate the idea:

http://imgur.com/nK3AG

your body needed a way to tell you “hey! put down that celery and go eat that steak for chrissakes! we need calories and nutrition and we need them now! no time to waste!”.

http://imgur.com/VLhds

so there’s this system of evaluating the usefulness of food. a meter. a rubric. your taste buds.

but here’s the thing: their scale was evolved around what was available at the time. i.e., the high end of the scale (“ZOMG TASTY EAT MORE OF THAT RIGHT NOW!!!”) was set based on the extremes which were available at the time.

like an apple was extremely sweet, back in the caveman days.

http://imgur.com/5mjVr

and steak, whoa boy, your body wants more of that, stat!

http://imgur.com/1uDRv

so, after the caveman days, we invented cooking, which is all about trying figuring out that model/rubric and then trying to hack it. trying to combine foods in such a way as to peg the scale at all ends. and coming up with more intricate, complex models of taste in order to peg the senses even further.

take, for example, mexican food. mmmm!

http://imgur.com/XmVVs

now, what happens if you concoct a freak of nature? what happens when you overload the system with something it was never designed to handle? what happens when you charge your cellphone with a fucking bolt of lightning?

well, that’s the donut:

http://imgur.com/AVW19

that’s why your lizard brain goes bat-shit fucking insane the first time a donut touches your tongue. “WHOA, WTF JUST HAPPENED?!? ZOMG DROP EVERYTHING AND EAT ALL OF THOSE UNTIL THERE ARE NONE LEFT!!! I DON’T CARE IF YOU ARE FULL, KEEP EATING!!!”.

now, there is a similar system in the minds of 15 year old boys, which is used to evaluate how sexy a woman is. and that system can be modeled and exploited. and it is, by the comic book industry, because it sells comics.

what I’m saying here is, comic book babes are the donuts for the (15 year old) male model of female desirability. they are something which could never possibly exist in a state of nature. they are designed to peg the scales in every direction at the same.

yes, they are a completely unrealistic, unfair, impossible standard of attractiveness to live up to. and that’s the whole point. they are just a fantasy. they are not a threat.

everything has its place.

high fructose corn syrup is basically poison, but that doesn’t mean we should advocate its complete eradication. a coke is a wonderful thing to enjoy once in a while.

space tourism (when we get the tech) will be the single most environmentally unfriendly thing a person could possibly do in their entire lifetime (in terms of carbon footprint). that doesn’t mean we should advocate its complete eradication. let the rich have their fun (as long as its overall impact is still just a blip on the radar).

first-person shooter video games are an absolutely horrific way to model treating other human beings. that doesn’t mean we should advocate their complete eradication. most people are actually pretty good at discerning the difference between fantasy and reality. let the gamers have their fun.

and let the nerds have their frikin’ comic book babes. sheesh.

http://eschergirls.tumblr.com/post/23720017098/former-15-year-old-nerdy-boy-this-comment#comment-538208132

Former 15 year old boy continues to dig that hole. xD

Now women are donuts.  And we need human attraction explained to us!  Also we’re apparently advocating the complete eradication of sexiness, and we’re threatened, and nerds are all hetero guys who we’re trying to take away their one and only way of getting their sexual fantasy fix. 

I’m glad he explained this to me.  I thought I was just doing a blog where I snarked at hilariously bad art and depictions of women in pop media. 

I need to go now.  Somebody is trying to eat me and get at my delicious chocolate glaze.  *revs up my F-1 motor*