Okay so this is part 2 of the caption
Okay so this is part 2 of the caption contest winners: the medium length stories!
Here are the finalists:
The staff that fused with her breastbone may have been unreasonably heavy, indestructible and possessed by the wizard’s ghost constantly whispering in the back of her mind and making her affect poses and expressions of sexual submission at the drop of a hat, but she would be damned if it was going to stop her from enjoying a day at the beach.
“So, I’m doing some late night window shopping and this girl comes up to me. She asks if I’m interested in scoring some cash and say I’ll bite, so she tells me she’s got a photographer friend who needs models for a sexy photo shoot and she “just had to have my big, long staff pressed against her body for it.” Obviously, that would’ve been irresponsible and dangerous, so I made a temporary, non-magical copy and brought it to the shoot. And that’s how I could afford this new spellbook.”
AA:
MAGIC ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT ISSUE: THE COVER SHOOT
“So this year, just to prevent the feminist backlash, I think the cover should actually feature some magic imagery. How about a cool staff? Yeah, that’ll do. So, Rosylocks, you’ll be holding the staff. Okay let’s see, give me a pose. NO what are you doing, goddamn that’s threatening! It’s like you’re actually using the staff to cast some wicked spell. Jeez. Lose the power stance. Loosen the grip. Be sensual, like all soft and feminine. How come you still look distinctly dynamic? Try and forget you’re holding a weapon, instead, maybe imagine it’s a, umm, you know. OH GOD NO we’re not that kind of a magazine! We’re all about magic here. Look, just have the staff somewhere CLOSE to that area and hold it, like, caressingly… Now I like it better. Nay, something’s still missing. I want to see, like, a 3D effect you know, some background-foreground contrast, like something popping out… Hmm…I have an idea”The gods had hit upon a new way to establish the followers that they had so desperately craved: they would grow them from the ground up. Through years of toil and sweat they labored until at last they hit upon the perfect formula. Rooted in the sands their first seed grew drawing upon the sun for energy and the sea for nourishment. It wasn’t until she was fully grown that the gods realized that their design had a serious flaw.
They had understood that the growing body would need support and so lashed it to a staff made for that purpose but didn’t consider until it was far too late that there was a point where a growing body must be removed from its support or become one with it. Their new creation’s first words were to plead for a surgeon to remove the troublesome staff. Her second words were to complain that her wardrobe was chafing her in ways that weren’t divine. By the time she reached her third words she was already cursing the gods for their incompetence.
fyrenwater:
Sandra was an ordinary teen like any other. That is, until that fateful day she tried out for track and field. Poor Sandra accidentally wandered too close to the javelin field. One can guess what happened next.
Fortunately (aside from the stick permanently embedded within her bosom) she made a full recovery. Tragically, this left her with only one possible career path in life: a model for awkward illogical video game pinups.
She may smile for the photos, but if one looks into her eyes, all that is seen is the pain and loss.
And the winner is… @zagglezig!
Congratulations!
Please contact me with your email and your 3 picks (in order) of the following games:
Gone Home, Primordia, Contraption Maker, The Ship, One Way Heroics, Castle Crashers, FTL, Bastion, Steel Storm: Burning Retribution
After I’ve chosen all 3 winners, if there are no conflicts in your top picks, you’ll each get your top selection, if there is, I’ll do a random draw and the winner will get first pick, and so on.
Next: The long submissions!